I was holding my drink when I heard from behind me the unmistakable voice of a female companion yell, “why are you touching me?” By my standards, you can’t violate a woman in my presence with drunkenness as an excuse. I will crack your skull open and the air entering your brain will sober you up.
I swung into action. I wanted to start by breaking the beer bottle using his head, but I decided to be rational.
“Where did he touch you?” I asked her in my most authoritative voice with exaggerated seriousness, but she sensed that poor man was about to die and said, “Never mind, he is drunk.”
“That is no excuse...” I told her, as I blocked the man who tried to push me aside. I gave him a look a bull would give another bull that is about to cross the line. Whereas I’m tall and menacing when enraged, I noticed instantly that the man was the dangerous type. He maintained a deathly, steely look, looking up to me.
My male accomplices were laughing, certainly sure that the man had balls and I had met my match. I checked the man out, and as an intelligent man, calculated my situational awareness, and could not see my best bouncer within the vicinity.
The man, was about 30 going 33, given his tough, rugged face. It sent a cold shiver down my spine and we exchanged a look for more than one minute trying to see who would blink fast. He looked the type whose upper-cut would send me to ICU for a whole month. He looked like a ball of concrete.
“What is your problem with me?” he asked, rather menacingly, so sure that there was nothing I could do to him. Worse, he had no company and there were three of us.
Something told me he was dangerous and I would lose that fight and I tucked my tail between my legs and let him pass, which he did without much drama.
Truth be told, I was still sober, if I was any tipsy, I would have thrown a spontaneous punch that would have sent him reeling. But my sense of judgement was intact and I know when to count my losses.
Defending a woman in a drunken environment is a big task for any man, unless you are in the military and you have no brains, in that case you can just shoot a man.
Most of the time, women do wrong things when they are drunk and they will never accept that they are wrong and you have to defend them to prove your worth, but I have seen men being beaten like wild dogs, for less.
It is manly to stand up and defend your woman if someone disrespects her in your presence. But you have to ask if she brought it upon herself. A lot of women have flirted with me in night clubs in drunken stupor and their boyfriends would have killed me, but I am just about the tallest person in Nairobi and this scares the wind out many men’s sails, quite erroneously. And I pity the men for what their women take them through.
For me, it is wrong to go with your girl or wife to a night club. A bar or a night club is a space for debauchery and everyone there is trying his luck, and there is an adrenaline thrill about snatching a woman from another man. It is all life is all about, really when you think about it.
Half the time, men are never attentive. They are on their phone. Others are busy admiring the woman in the next table with an earth-shaking ass. And women are worse, they keep eye-sexting the men on the next table, and that kills me.
So next time you want to fight in a nightclub, first measure how inebriated you are, ensure you have back up, consider walking away as long as the girl and yourself are safe. There is nothing worth fighting for. All drunken fights are regrettable and stupid.
As a 35-year-old, it is awkward explaining a bruise or a broken arm in the morning. There are enough stupid and dangerous people ready to pounce on you at the slightest provocation. And so many guns in the wrong hands of wannabe drug smugglers. Better, never go to a bar with your woman to a club if you want to stay alive.