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How to date an eligible bachelor

By MIke Mswati | Monday, Jan 9th 2017 at 09:55
Desperate to get such men to commit, women forget they are not ordinary and average Joes.

Besides generating debate, the list of eligible bachelors always leaves women rubbing their hands in glee as they, to borrow street parlance, kula kwa macho.

Generally, women tend to be attracted to unattached men with higher social standing, especially those who have great looks.

Most women would kill to date, sire babies or even just get ‘sponshorship’ from these eligible bachelors.

“Any unmarried handsome man with ‘class’ comes off as husband material or a cool baby daddy. By remaining unattached, especially when they make more money, such men become juicy prospects for most women,” says Veronica Isigi, a city business lady who adds that women never let such men go to waste.

“They do anything humanly possible to win them over or just to have babies with them”.

However, desperate to get such men to commit, women forget they are not ordinary and average Joes.

Thus, their endeavours to make inroads into their hearts always end in futility. Despite countless spirited and, at times, desperate forays into ‘bachelor territory’, most women sadly end up a frustrated lot with broken hearts.

“One common attribute I discovered and hated to bits while dating one such men is that they are ‘cling-proof’! As in, in your desperate endeavours to get him to commit, you have to always content with the annoying ‘let us just be friends (of course, with benefits)’ closure,” complains Isigi.

Crazy Monday investigations, however, reveal there are many obvious mistakes women make when trying to get eligible or senior bachelors to commit.

Talking to this writer, one popular city-based eligible bachelor who requested anonymity said many women confuse ‘single men’ with ‘bachelors’. Big mistake.

“While all eligible bachelors are single, not all single guys are eligible bachelors. A good number of eligible bachelors always have a kid or two for whom they have refused to take responsibility or lay claim on in the background,” he explained, adding that others like himself are singles who are spoilt for choice or confused by the high number of women throwing themselves at them and are just waiting to be cornered for that almost inevitable rite of passage called marriage.

From our observations and responses from several bachelors we spoke to, an eligible bachelor has to be heterosexual to the core, must have absolutely no desire for marriage regardless of his advancing age or any form of committed relationships.

“These are typical examples of bona fide commitment-phobes with wealth or higher social status. Actually, it is bachelor’s high social class that makes them special and tolerable. Otherwise, they would pass for regular single men who are taking their sweet time to get married,” the bachelor brags.

 

Interestingly, the female equivalents of eligible bachelors are not such a big fascination anymore. Society tends to be a bit lenient when a woman decides she’d rather be alone, thanks to women empowerment and infiltration of western cultures into contemporary Kenya.

What’s more, there seem to be enough justification and the fact that women always get away with, “there are no good men left for marriage. They are all dogs” excuse.

Again, after 35, most women are always considered to have past their ‘sell-by date’. Thus, getting away with marriage becomes very easy for them.

“Do you ever hear people nag media personalities such as Caroline Mutoko, Kalekye Mumo, Sheila Mwanyiga, Catherine Kasavuli, Cess Mutungi, among others who are past 35 to get married? But on the flipside everyone seems to be pestering the likes of Maina Kageni, Edward Kwach and other eligible bachelors to settle down,” says Justin Kabiru, a social commentator.

Pressure eligible bachelors face

Seemingly, there is more scrutiny for men. Ours being a conservative society, many people see no reason why a man should be unmarried after 35.

“A battalion of aunties always throw a spanner in the works by hooking up such men with potential mates, hoping he marries one of them. Basically, around here, as a man you must get married. No excuse of being past your ‘sell by date’, you can still make babies even in your 50s,” says Kabiru.

He argues that even if the marriage fails, at least get divorced, separated or estranged. But just for the sake of your clan, you must marry at least once in your lifetime.

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