Unlike catching a cheating man, nabbing an unfaithful woman is not easy. However, TONY MALESI explains a very easy way to do so
Infidelity, suspected or confirmed, has serious and devastating psychological effects on a mate in a relationship or marriage.
Truth is, just like men, many women cheat. The perception that women don’t cheat (or cheat less, compared to men) stems from the fact that they plan and execute infidelity with a high level of precision.
They do this because the risks and they know the consequences of being caught are dire.
Take Mr Muli for instance. A no-nonsense man who boldly brags that no woman (including his ex-girlfriends in his heyday) can or has ever cheated on him.
“No woman has ever played me. All the women who have been in my life know I don’t take prisoners. And if I get the slightest hint that my current wife is cheating on me, she would have to go,” Mr Muli declares.
But what does Muli know about women (people who don’t leave trails of their infidelity)? Does he even know that some of the children he is raising were probably not sired by him?
When it comes to cheating, women are clinical; they keep their activities under wraps. They cover their tracks. It’s just that a few have increasingly become clumsy, creating the impression that women began cheating just the other day.
So many women cheat on their men regularly, and have never been caught, are not about to be caught, and will never ever be caught. Sorry men, so you thought you are smarter? Well, if you didn’t know, now you know; women actually beat you, hands down, at your own game! Ouch!
Normally, when cheating, women have a plan, complete with a back-up plan on how to extricate themselves and get off the hook.
Amina*, a self-proclaimed drama queen, explains how she once turned the tables on her campus sweetheart after he confronted her upon discovering she had been cheating, and even made him apologise when in actual sense she had cheated on him.
“I took revenge on my boyfriend by playing him, after I discovered he had all along been fooling around with another lady.
When he accidentally read a romantic text message sent to me by a class mate I had been having a thing with, I protested and faked annoyance when he attempted to confront me.
I told him it was one of the messages from many men who were trying to hit on me, who I always told I was taken,” she reveals.
Before he could say a thing, Amina says, she stormed out of his room in a fit of self-righteous rage, crying foul and demanding that he must apologise or she'd end the relationship for lack of trust and for being ‘falsely’ accused of cheating. She says her boyfriend apologised.
Catching a cheating woman is not the easiest of tasks. Like a clumsy bear, men always leave behind trails of their infidelity; scented perfume and lipstick on shirts, lodging receipts in pockets, naughty text messages, sent Mpesa messages and what not.
Unfortunately, women don’t. No, they don’t.
The good people at the National Intelligence Service may boast all they want about how they are on top of things; how they know all the top secrets Kenyans keep, and how snoopy and fantastic they are at busting all sorts of clandestine activities, but they just can’t bust a cheating woman!
Most women who cheat on their boyfriends or husbands do not do so necessarily because they feel less loved or are unhappy. Most cheat just because they have boring bedroom lives.
Period. Most are ‘happily’ married, but are never happy in their bedrooms. Little wonder then, that, they stay put (and cheat) and never file for divorce or separation.
To catch a cheating woman, one has to narrow down to certain times of her monthly cycle. If asked, most women might confess that indeed at certain times of the month they are always tempted to cheat.
Women who were interviewed for this report, whose names we have changed to protect their innocence, make shocking confessions.